This year
has been quite the experience. From beginning to end, I’ve been pushed so hard. Pushed to my breaking point. Pushed in every way imaginable. Emotionally. Emotionally pushed so hard. Punched, stomped on, broken so badly that I thought I’d never recover. The truth is, even the thought of it brings a lump to my throat, tears to my eyes. The truth is, the thought of it makes me want to destroy everything in sight. Including myself, because I’d never felt so alone. But now, those instincts are muted to what they were before. Physically. Pushed harder than I ever have before. Pushed so hard that at the end of the day, I went back wondering why I decided to put myself through this. Feeling alone. Pushed so hard. But I’m glad for this, I met the most amazing people. Intellectually. Pushed so much information that I never thought I’d be able to hold. So many tests that I never thought I’d be able to pass.
And now, I’m being pushed. So hard into decisions I can’t think to make. Into goodbyes I can’t bring myself to put into words. Into real life. Pushed.
